I worked with this guy who I began to crush on over time. I thought he was subtly hitting on me, but then figured it was my overactive imagination. Later I found out from other co-workers that he is gay and had a boyfriend of three years, who left him about a year ago. From what I hear he was pretty shook up about it. When I said I didn’t believe them, they called him over to the table to confirm it, and he looked at me, and told them to drop the subject…Anyways, whenever we hangout we either have good conversations or long long periods of awkward silence. On Valentine’s Night, we all went out to the bars to hang out, and at the end of the night, he drove me back to my car and we sat in his car and talked for like 45 minutes…I wanted to kiss him but I didn’t know how that would affect things…What he didn’t know was that earlier that night I left a bear and a secret admirer card with a cd (Alicia Keys-You Don’t Know My Name) on his patio doorstep. (I’ve been to his place b4)
I remember earlier that night the conversation went something like this:
him: I’m gonna take a hot girl home tonight!
me: But I thought….
him: You thought what?
me: nothing nevermind
him: no what?
Then I changed the subject…a few days later people were talking about him at work saying he was no longer gay…and I felt bad for leaving that bear, and well I just felt really bad,like guilty for wanting him to be something he’s not…and so I went over to his place at like 10 at night and apologized to him for ever possibly making him feel uncomfortable…and he seemed VERY nervous and swore up and down that he doesn’t swing that way. Then he looked at the bear and asked if I left it there, and I said "why would you ask that?" and he said he was just trying to figure out who left it, then we changed topics…Anyways now I don’t know what’s going on, because he’s still so nice to me but…I can’t understand why, why does he have to be so damn friendly?
Anyways, recently I got…well suspended kind of…here’s the messed up part, he fought for me to keep the job the first time I nearly got fired. Now I feel like I let him down…I haven’t had the chance to speak to him since then, and I don’t know if I should…should I apologize to him, or just pretend like it never happened or say I’ll wait for the 30
days is up and come back? I’m just so confused right now


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